Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Don't Read This Dating Book

Over dinner with Kim this evening, I decided that if I were to write a book, it would be titled "Don't Read This Dating Book" and would recount the many humorous (and not so humorous) contents of Dating Books.

Dating books have their place for sure.  Certainly the books I read as a teen have led me to my present mindset (and ability to laugh at dating books).  But to some extent, I think they all may lack one aspect: truth and humor...also known as sarcasm.  To make up for this loss, the following:
(Warning: These are taken from my life experience, and therefore may be insulting to some...please take with a grain of salt...I'm not making fun of you...specifically)

Possible titles for my book with condensed summaries:


1) Longings of the heart: Read this book if you wish you were dating, but you're not, so you're reading a book about how to date or not date to fulfill your romantic longings by thinking of what you should or should not do once you do have a date.

2) I Kissed Courting Goodbye: Courting is given a new name and thoroughly described.

3) Online Dating: Proactive steps for the desperate.

4) Why Aren't You Married Yet: How not to be afraid of the opposite gender.

5) You'll Get Married When: Finally, a detailed and scientific explanation of why you really will find your significant other once you are finally fully satisfied with your present condition.

6) Things Singles Don't Know: An encyclopedic record of all the things singles don't know because they are not married with kids, listed here in alphabetical order with full and simple explanations of each.  You too can learn about "real life."

7) The Kid Table: Why you always get stuck at the kid table and what to do about it.

8) Making the Most: How to make the most of being single including chapters on "babysitting," "service," and developing skills and talents to attract the opposite gender (recipes included for girls and guitar tips for guys).

9) Share the Bed: Why sleeping with stuffed animals prepares you for your mate.

10) I'm Dating Jesus: Come on people, what does that even mean?

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